This has been the most difficult year and Christmas since my husband Clint has passed! It's only been two years since he has been gone but our third Christmas without him. We have an 11 year old son and he has a17 year old daughter from a previous marriage! I never dreamed this would happen to he and I. We were so in love and happy! 30 and a widow and he gets pancreatic cancer at 39 and is extremely healthy! I keep replaying the last three hours of his life in my head and it's so gut wrenching I can't even begin to describe the struggle he endured ! I was begging God to have Mercy! The Amazing thing was he was praising him in his struggle for air to breath. His lungs were so full of fluid. Why ? Why? Why did my husband have to drown and fight so bad on top of hurting for the last six months. I know he isn't now and that helps some! I would just give anything to hear his voice One more time and have those sweet arms around me one more time. I feel as though I will Never be the same ! I don't think that it is possible! Not when you loose your soul mate

Everything can seem way to overwhelming sometimes.... Especially since Jesus took my soulmate on home to be with him almost two years ago. I love Our God so much and I try all the time to do the right thing and to be good and kind ! It can be so devastating when you are always alwys kind but never seem to get a little break from people and their hurtfulnessr . People only care for themselves. No one has a heart for anyone else. i pray for that to come together before its to late

My prayer request today is for me to accept the things that I can not change. To do the best that I can with my kids and to make my late husband proud and to one day meet him and most importantly Jesus in the sky.