Don't pressure yourself so much. It's hard enough seriously. Do what you can. Try. That's all we can do. Don't further angst yourself because you already have enough on your mind. May God bless you and keep you. Help you to know you are doing right and just acknowledging your feelings is a big step. May the lord hel navigate you through this battle and help you be free of burdens. You will prevail. Try a different approach. Music. Something. It will work out love you in Jesus name I pray for your mental angst to be gone and allow joy and love to enter you to uplift you amen