Flossy re read 4 days ago what I wrote. Dwelling on all this negative is not good. You have to realize we are all suffering from something. Others more than most. I'm sad to hear this. This hurts me. Please do something for you and you only. Forget about everything and just focus on finding a good place for you inside. Please! I hurt so with you. I love u sis. Jo

Yes! Thank you. So true. Amen. God bless. Jo

That's right. 🙏 amen

Love, the things you are saying don't mean anything. You will not ever be good enough in your own mind. That is our biggest challenge as humans. We are our own worst enemies. I have so many terminal illnesses that life is what it is. I'm losing my hair, graying, etc with the meds I have to take to stay alive. I fight for others. Now also for myself. I want to give up. But we are all beautiful no matter what. Realize I have loved you and worried about you for years. You are truly the reason why I check in. Just for you. Please hold my hand in this hell. I so understand what you are saying and I feel like this is cruel. I have a death sentence. I've known for 6 years. I have about 10 years if that. I'm 35. I'm one sick girl. My mental health sucks. So the little things are everything like a star, they shine through. We must have bad to appreciate the good. And I can say I don't get much good but I am grateful for the mini wins. It's useless to dwell. Take each day as a new. Sometimes it's moment to moment. I keep coming back from the dead... I have a purpose. To be there for others. Why else would God keep sending me back here? I know exactly how you feel about life. It's crap and it is harder more and more it seems to me. I don't judge you. I understand and want you to know I feel you. I am your sister as you are mine. We have to vent. I'm so proud of you for being real. That is one thing you must see that you do thar most cannot do. Admit the truth of their innermost feelings. That is a strength not a weakness. Babe. You mean so much to me. Please realize people suck and here I am on your side. We are in this abyss together. So help me by being all the sides of you are. The good, bad, ugly. I am with you. I think of you constantly. You have to look at what good is in yourself and your world. Not just the bad. You are truly one of one. As am I. Together we have to make it through this life. I have family that are not blood. They give me more than I ever could have asked for. Sadly most of my family is gone, both good and bad. We are all struggling with our lives and emotions. Please don't let me be alone. I need you. I love you and want what is best for you. We all deserve it. You just have a special place in my heart I cannot ignore. Please forgive me for not being there more often for you. And know I am and will always be your sister and love you unconditionally. Jo

Honey. You are truly one of one. Envy is real. Family is not always the family you need. I know. Your special in a way they can't understand. You have real feelings. People are on auto pilot. This world is worse than ever. You have to see those things that make you different as a blessing. That's your sparkle. I live that every day. I am so complex and throw out your expectations of others. You have nothing to prove to them. Don't let them dull your sparkle. It's yours. All you awesome qualities and even the bad. I promise you that I make mistakes everyday. We have to in order to learn and God will help but he will test you. I almost died again 2 weeks ago. I'm still here. He our lord our father said not yet my journey and trials and tribulations are far from over. Take those small moments of satisfaction, when you did do the right things even when you're told you didn't. You are in charge of you. Grab your Raines and let the proverbial horse help you begin your new life. I will tell you in the Bible their is a thing called dying to self. You are truly their. Meaning stop. Regroup, rearrange your life. Make positive decisions and future goals and let the past go. Begin a new. Stop self sabotaging. Stop allowing others to use your heart as a door mat and realize you are not the issue, circumstances are and they change, so will you. Your confidence and trust in self will begin to grow and you will start to understand who you are and why. We all have something that is a true gift from God. That is the goal and the secret to life is finding a way to use that to help others in this life. Don't be them, they are scared of truth. You have to see them for what they are. You are not a bad person to leave toxic people in your past. When you die to self its like hitting the reset button. It is not easy and you will make mistakes constantly just keep yourself open to positive criticism. Talk to God. I just thanked him in such a terrible time because the good things in life overpower the bad. And the bad is more often than not in my life. Be real and give yourself a break. We are all just trying to make it. To whoever whatever why ever, we are lost. I'm lost because their is no way to know the future and fearing it is a waste of time and energy. Take time to fine those things within yourself that are true, real and feel that blessing. You are truly a blessing. We all are and please acknowledge that. You deserve to know you have worth. You are it. You can't be replaced and flossy I'd give you the biggest hug because you have what it takes. Just reaching out is such an incredible ability. I love you sis. Thank you for being you. Please know we all want more for you and you surely deserve it. Always with much love and blessings 💋jo

Amen