Flossie as a mom that has a son with drugs and alcohol I have finally understood the pain he is in and you sound like your pain is similar. Please trust in the Lord and put your pain and suffering in His hands. I do care about you and hope you can find Your strength to get the help. Please never give up, you are asking for help and there are so many people that really do care about you, please keep praying things will change if you keep the faith.