I am asking for prayer from God on the direction to go in my life. I have been separated for a year now from my husband of 20 years. I met him when I was 18. We have two boys together. 19 and 13. I dealt with my husbands marijuana and alcohol addiction throughout these years not to mention, verbal, mental abuse and infidelity. I will admit my mistakes, I have been unfaithful myself. I have sought out attention I was not getting in my marriage. Another huge problem we have had is, he has put our oldest son in front of me since he was born. Which has taken a toll. I have always been the displinary while he played the friend to him. This has hinderd my relationship with my oldest son. My husband and I have had a pattern throughout the years to separate then get back together. Maybe more for reasons of comfort and the kids. I will always love him just not in love with him anymore. I feel he inhibits me from growing as a person. Since I moved out a year ago, my husband has stopped smoking marijuana not due to my request due to the legal systems demand. I started seeing someone that started out as a friend, someone I was not attracted to initially. I developed feelings for this person. He treats me the way I always dreamed of. He encourages me, motivates me, loves God, enjoys church and he is a great companion. I need to know what path to take. I get confused on gods message at church sometimes when he says to stick it out for your marriage verses when it's time to let go. I am 40 years old.. And I don't want to be 50 making this decision. I'm tired of carrying my husband emotionally and tired of the patterns we have had in the past. Please God show me and give me strength to move forward with the right decision I need to make.
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