I' m having a tough time dealing with my thoughts..some days are better than others..I feel this terrible emptiness inside..no matter what I do or where I go..nothing fills it..Ive gone from church to church..and now im not anywhere..Ive asked God for healing many times..but these feeling just come back to me to a point I want days to end..I have do much pain inside and I really just want to be at peace for the sake of my children and my well being..I just don't know how. I've asked God to guide my path but my mind is so filled with negatives it's so hard to hear God speak to me..it hurts to realize that I know nothing after going to church for a while..nothing seemed to stick..only heart felt preaches that I felt I related to..but I can't even remember a verse from the bible..I feel upset,frustrated,lonely,angry,all negative feelings..as much as I try to fight my thoughts they're drowning me..I can't understand what God's plan is for my life..I can't understand why God hasn't led a good man to my path by now .I can't understand what's so wrong with me..and why it's so difficult for me to be happy..I can't understand what more I have to ask of God for him to take all of this away..and help me understand my purpose in this world..I have so much to give yet feel like I don't know where to start or where to even go..I pray for healing and inner peace..to help me understand and love my Life..for acceptance of what was and what won't be..to help me love myself enough that I don't have to search for love in the wrong places. ..To put someone in my path that will teach me what I need to know in the bible..to keep myself so involved with God and helping others that there's no space for thoughts..for God to use me because I want to be used by him to help others..I pray that God can reach me soon enough to be able to lead my children at a right path and to help me stop looking for love in the wrong men..to help me know when someone is not for me and move on.
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