Lord help me as I see husbands behavior same as was from strart of our marriage. Looking at women, porñ , lies twist what he does to deny reality. It cause me more hurt and distrust. He claim he changed over 29 years. The porn came up on his phone when we were to watch a movie. I let go let God years ago to fall back to this hurts deeply.
He stood starring back at a young girl while we were to be enjoying our trip on our honeymoon on a cruise ship watching boats send us off. I confront him he gets all nervous and try cover he wasn't only looking to see where we could go. I feel in mY soul he is lieing was supose to discuss with Our pastor about where we to go from here. He deny have any desire to look at women like other guys i.feel complete lie. I talked to as not forgiving , not loving, bearly say anything to him like all my fault. Why God not move in his life? He not take care of tasks at home or clean up after because I mention I'm told I over bearing on tasks. Not true. He won't pray or read his Bible with me. It's turned at me I'm not in relation to God. No wonder women struggle and marriages fall off.. I don't know what else to do but leave with God.

Help me understand. Life been difficult in every way. I have tried to do good and follow God answers don't come or blessings. I read, pray, seek, listen looking for my purpose my calling, lord blessings. Life is full of work and help others. Tread mill continues of demands to do.. No one returns any favors at our needs. Today work is rocky bosses frustrated short staff. Management don't respect employees. Other hospitals giving large incentives to appreciate people. Ours offer a low slap in face offer. I hear all the time I'm called, it's my time for a breakthrough. My suffering is for higher calling. Long weighting to little results for change and just getting buy.
I have an offer to take a job its an hour away with best offer and best incentive. How do I know that's God wanting me there. Or am I to stay in a hospital in 30 min drive staff leaving, management wanting out, will leave more work then ability to keep up.