Prayers for you in your situation. God sees and knows all. I pray he has blessed you with some help to change things for the better. Never give up. God will hear us when we call his name. May he bless you deeply❤

I personally know where your at. The drinking and pain pills are a heavy depressent that keeps you down day and night. I suggest you go to a support group such a AA or get personal concealing if you can. God is always there with his arm around you. Always remember that. When I was in your position I used AA group which is free. And a personal concealing person who helped me a lot and when I felt lost I talked to God. I will have you in my prayers always. Remember you are stronger than you think. You can kick you're addiction. All things are possible though God. ❤