It is my first time to do this and i am not used with it, I dont even know how and where ill begin with, I havent experienced anything like this such prayer request, i havent experienced yet going to church or been involved in any church activities but im hoping one day. And yes, im a catholic. Even i havent experienced those things i still have faith in God.
I ended up here because I am at war with myself right now, for a months already and i know, im aware that i am meeting some points of depression and anxiety already which it is so difficult for me. I cry everynight and I just feel so lost right now, whats happening with me right now affects my relationship, it affects with my family already especially to my parents where i just disobey them all of a sudden where it is not really my intentions to disobey them and they do misunderstood me. Im even having some trouble on getting a job because of the requirements that i couldnt meet due to financial problems. I even got betrayed by the people ive given so much trust. I reached to the point where i needed help already because whenever ill pull myself up, something happens and it would block me, and pulls me down again. I tried speaking up or atleast show gestures that i need help to my loved ones but i was never heard nor seen. I wanted to go to my friends but i couldnt i am having hesitations feels like something is stopping me to do it. I felt so alone,
i dont know what to think anymore or where to go anymore and i have no choice but to call the God almighty, i pray and pray to heal me because I wanted to be fully okay already in order to face all the challenges. I wanted myself to be back, my mind is at war, and i wanted peace. I am full of fears full of guilt full of negativities full of sadness, shame and all, to the point where the word suicide pops up in my mind and im scared, im scared with that word and im scared of what might just happen. I reached to the point where whatever comes in i just feel so numb, hopeless, and tired. Im asking help, i pray to God to heal me, to give my heart and mind a rest, i pray to God to fill me up with positivities and to enlighten me with everything. I wanted to be fully okay in order to achieve my goals in life and to fulfill my promise to my family.