I am running scared. I rarely get on sites and give personal information. However I am not at a safe place right now and am terrified of what is to come if I do not find help. I have not been to fellowship since 2012 when the very first of a whole lot of things to come was taking place. I was married 15 years to a good man with our surviving 2 of 6 children I bared, a tight knit extended family. When I got the call my mother had been in a terrible accident and was not responsive, while we were getting ready for a wedding for my sister inlaw. Story shortened within 7 days I had to take my mother off lifesupport, then my, husband left the night of her funeral, Sister the only real support I had got hauled off to prison for her drug use and crimes, I panicked and remarried another man several states away, again, story shortened,,, his stepmom passes who happened to share the same birthday as my mother, then his sister, then comes 2nd divorce. then I lost my long time family friends both husband and less then a year later my best friend Jill to cancer. Horrible stuff. while living out of my car for over 2 years I was never alone unless my black lab was visiting my daughter. We had become each others entire world. Until she got sick last year and I was forced to put her down. How in the world i could even keep my head up is beyond me. I really don't think i actually have. My world is so broken after 15 years clean I relapsed. I have been on a good path to a better life for the past several months until i met a man who was about to change everything until i allowed my pain to over ride my sanity and I lost him wounding me badly and now i have found myself fighting hard to even take my next breath. I have found a T.C. that is willing to help me get my life back together, but the evils of this world are strong within me and I am fighting a battle on my own with no voice in my ears and heart from The Lord with such strong demons within me. Please understand I was a very strong women, I know i still am, I am just very lost right now and need all the prayers i can get. Thank you my apology for this being such a long story.. God Bless!