I am so sorry to hear about your situation. My life was falling apart many years ago. It felt like my situation was hopeless and not changing the way I wanted. But I began to pray, often my tears were all I could muster but then God bottles up our tears. He will get you through this - please try to focus on God and pray continuously for yourself, over your wife and pray for her heart, soul, mind, body, will and emotions- she is lost and has given herself over to a sinful lifestyle, and harmed your marriage.

If she knows that you know about her affair, it is time to speak with her and ask her what she wants out of life, to be married to uou or to be with this other man. It is hard to fight for someone who may not want to be in the marriage, it is best to care for your health, your spirit and move out or have her move out so you can work on yourself.

You don’t have to be a victim in this situation. You have a say. You don’t have to live with her as long as she continues with her infidelity, lies and lack of respect.

I suggested that you pray for her because praying for the person who is causing emotional pain, will in time, help protect your heart from being/feeling bitter and vindictive which is a waste of precious energy and time which you cannot afford to give to her and this situation. It is best to protect what you value (your livelihood, peace of mind, peaceful home) and not be subjected to a person who isn’t willing to work on the marriage. God will peotect your mind, heart and spirit but it requires an active choice to pray even when you don’t feel like it. God will bless you but wastijg time chasing after a person who is cheating and lying will cause you to lose out on a new life filled with hope and better experiences.
God allows divorce if the mate cheats. If she is unwilling to quit the affair and go to counseling, AND CONFESS her sins to God and you, please have her leave your home and move in with her bf. otherwise she may see you as a bank that pays the rent, food, etc. and she can act like a high school teenager.
Surrender to God, cry and vent to him, he can take your anger and rage just don’t act out towards her or anyone. Ask God to help you make wise decisions, to give you strength and courage, and if anything accept what is happening, its ok to not be ok with it because that is not how you wanted your marriage to turn out. But we have to face the facts in order to get through the situation. What are your values? Seems like your wife has a different set of values that are not compatible with yours, so why be with her ?

Gods love is better than her kind of “love”. She isn't the one for you. She has a serious character flaw and its about her - NOT YOU. YOU are caught in her drama and issues. It takes time to grieve over the loss of a relationship, of what was and could have been. But pray for her and as you grow and evolve, you will notice how your prayers will change and your heart will be free of the desired outcomes. You will pray prayers that tell God you want WHAT HE WANTS FOR YOU AND IT WILL BE SOOOOO MUCH BETTER, happier, healthier and you will thank God for HIS ANSWERED prayers for you!