I understand how you are feeling I've been sick since a baby had a few near death experiences just recently diagnosed with another illness that may cause me to be paralyzed. You need to keep trusting God offer up to him your sufferings whatever they may be so God can use it for something good, trusting God you need to believe in him totally no doubts remember doubts are from the enemy to get you to not trust God, it isn't a easy battle but in the end you will be rewarded.