Lord help me, have pity on me.

I'm far from God. I'm indifferent. Because of the suffering I decided to numb my feelings but it's even more dangerous than depression in a way. I don't find motivation, will, force, to change my life. It's terrible. I'm bad for myself and for people around me. Not because of my bad deeds, but because of indifference and not doing good things. Please pray for me. Please pray for me. Please pray for me.

God, help me to come back to you. I'm far, far away. I want you to be the center of my life. I want to give you my heart. Take from me everything that is an obstacle to the doing of your Spirit. I wish to love you with whole my heart, mind, will, wish. Help me to love you and everyone I encounter.

Please pray for me. I'm in mess, far from God, far from my friends and family. Both physically and emotionally. I don't know how to get back, where to start and I feel discouraged. I feel like I'm dead spiritually and emotionally. I cannot recognise myself anymore.