My spirit has been down that tunnel. It looks more like the eye of a hurricane. A vortex. It starts with total blackness and impending doom. When the clouds suddenly form and the tunnel starts pulling you in, you know for sure that you're actually dying and there is no turning back. I was stopped inside that vortex by an angel on my shoulder and then I felt the most overwhelming sense of love and serenity I would ever feel again. I arose from death, stronger and more determined than ever before. My prayer today is I want to be that man again. The man who wasn't afraid to die, and who was strong enough by the grace of God to rise from death. Yeah, I had a chip on my shoulder, but it kept me sane, and it fueled my fire. I want to walk in the light again with the lord. Take my life for what it is and put me where I am supposed to be. Doing what I do for a living, and living the way I do outside of work, my life isn't what it ought to be. Make it right, Lord. Put me where I am supposed to be. You kept bringing me back for a reason. Make me the man you want me to be and help me change my ways.

God, please give me serenity. Please lift my burdens. Give the financial means to make all the things I worry about day to day go away. Please give me a partner. Someone to help me make sense of all this madness. I want to get back on the grind and live my life to the fullest. The way I'm going, I won't live to see my next birthday.